Healers need Healers

Grief hit last night.

I had my daughter and her two kids over for most of the day. Even though there were fun parts, it was stressful and my blood sugar showed that.

After she left, I was exhausted.

My husband made dinner. It was a little higher carb than I really wanted, but I was grateful that I didn't have to make it.

While he was prepping for today's Dungeons and Dragons adventure, I watched a little YouTube, and drew on my tablet.

And I ate. 

And I ate.

And I ate.

UGH!

I know I'm an emotional eater.

I know I have tools to deal with being emotional.

But...

I didn't use them.

(head slap)

If I was a drinker, I probably would've drank too much. But alcohol makes my body flush all over and my it is really uncomfortable. So I'm not a drinker.

After I realized I was emotionally eating (recognition is the first step to fixing anything), I sat with my feelings. 

Sadness.

Grief.

Feeling alone.

Loss of future carbs (dessert, bread, rice, pasta, tortillas...).

FOMO

We go to a lot of social functions where we eat and even though I know there are other diabetics there, I see them eating stuff that I know will spike my blood sugar. I've been there before, when I've had Crohn's flares. I know what this is going to feel like watching others eat food that I can't have.

I know I can have these foods, that I can take more insulin to counter it, but that doesn't feel healthy.

So, I sat in those ugly feelings.

Why?

Because I know if I don't feel the feelings they will find a place to live in my body and wreak more chaos. I'm sure there are emotions that I didn't deal with that are behind the pancreatitis and diabetes. I haven't done the work to clear that yet. 

I didn't know I needed too. 

Because I didn't look there. 

I haven't done a full body scan on myself in a while. It's harder to work on myself than it is to work on you. 

You are easy.

I can find your shit easy. Clearing your shit is easy.

Healers need healers.

I've got shit to clear out around that. I'm still feeling very much like I need to DIY my healing. 

Feeling the need to DIY instead of paying someone else to do it is a trauma response.

SHIT!!!

It feels expensive. CRAP! That's scarcity. 

I guess I need to go find someone to book a session with.

Do you need a healing session?

Here's my link to schedule one.

https://calendly.com/jessicalloyd/energy-healing-session-and-payment